Søren Kierkegaard said: "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
At the loss of a spouse, the life that we have been living drastically changes. We established our day to day lives, environment, and events. And we planned our future life, environment, and events.
Now alone, as we grieve our loss, we examine our present life, our faith, and our purpose, there are many things, people, and events that trigger our memories, our emotions, our grief. We come across pictures, knick-knacks, letters, cards, and other objects, sounds, scenes, and meals. These heighten our grief. But we also find some pictures and mementos that are in regular and expected places can remind us of the everlasting love for and from our spouse. These are warm reminders that we like seeing and may talk to, expressing our longing for the love and joyful presence we shared.
Once we gain some acceptance of our situation, we review the future that we had planned. What we wanted our lives in the future to be, what we would do, day-to-day, our changing environment, how we would ourselves grow, learn, and share. We come to accept that these must change, but don't necessarily need to be completely abandoned.
We can select and plan our future, and we can still continue the things we loved. What do we want for our future? It may include many things. Parts of our single past, our married past, our un-realized goals, and our unrealized plans. We must also include our continued growth.
As we move into this new future, we will carry our memories of the past. These ghosts of our past accompany us into the future. They will include our lost love, our dreams, our desires. And we must also include our Lord and His purpose for us, to be satisfied and complete again.
